A year ago, I was in the midst of adjusting to a divorce and a new relationship, sorting out my anger with Heavenly Father, sorting out my anger at myself, when I met this boy named Jonathan. I didn’t quite remember much about our meeting except that he was a drummer. The day after our chance meeting he found me on facebook and requested me as a friend. He later sent me a message stating: “You are absolutely gorgeous. Just thought you should know.” I thought him to be very sweet but I was committed to my boyfriend at the time. The timing was not right for Jonathan and I to become anything more than friends. And thus we stayed facebook aquaintances for the better part of 6 mos.
We were both heavily scarred from previous experiences, some relationship and some personal decisions, but we were both looking for something real…something natural.
Then, in February of this year, I found myself single and was in no way looking for a new love interest. I had been counseled by friends and family to take my time and date and get to know myself. So that’s what I was doing. I had no intentions of getting into a relationship and certainly had no dreams of finding Mr. Right at that time. It was the day before Valentine’s Day and I was dealing with a love/hate of that day when I got a facebook message from Jonathan…this time inviting me to his show in San Antonio. I replied I might go, gave him my number, he invited me to hang out with his friends before, I went and something amazing happened in our brief meeting that night, so I stayed for his show and thus our road began.
We both had/have such busy schedules that we spoke when we could and he lived in Austin so we didn’t see each other again for a while. After about a month of texts and random phone calls and trips to parks and playgrounds we could feel something special was happening. I was so scared to put my heart out there again, but with Jonathan, it’s so natural. He is very easy to love.
Fast forward to now… the last 6 months of my life have been the most therapeutic, reflective, exciting times. I have never been in a relationship where who I am was good enough. My thoughts and feelings and beliefs are 100% accepted. I have loved and been loved in my life, but this love is unconditional… as it should be.
On my mother’s birthday… August 9th, 2010… Jonathan walked me to a playground where he had written in the sand. No one can know how perfect this was to us. He had printed every photo we had ever taken together (and we take a lot) and tied a ring in the rope around it. I answered the question written in the sand that night “Kim, will you marry me?” with no hesitation… “Yes.” And as I sat and thumbed through the 100+ photos, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That, in that moment, I had made the right decision and all the mistakes and good decisions that made up my life road were worth it. Each photo meant something different and unique to us. Some with friends, some with Jade and Lulu, some with just us, some of just me he liked, some of randoms objects and numbers that meant something to only us… all permanent reminders of our special connection.
I have had a ton of support from friends and family lately but I have also faced some worry from friends who were nervous it was too soon, but all have reaffirmed what I have thought for 6 mos, that to know Jonathan is to love him. I love that people are concerned but I don’t think love has a time limit. I do think that when you finally get to a place where you are being yourself, you love yourself and you have no expectations on when love will come, it can. I am continually adjusting to my life being so drastically different now and I will continue to make mistakes, fall down and get up again, but one thing I am certain of is this love. He inspires me because of who he is. I never believed that saying “you find love when you aren’t looking” until now. Call me a true believer. The bad days go a little faster now, and the good ones linger forever. I am excited for our future together and having a love that will inspire our friends and children. One that doesn’t judge and is not built on anyone else’s idea of how love should be… just ours.
I will need a lot of advice on planning a wedding as this will be my first real one. So if there are any ideas or suggestions or good websites, feel free to share with me.
So that’s my engagement story… What’s yours?