It's just like me to return to blogging only to have to take a small break:)
This post was started over a week ago but I was visiting my moma and daddy in Arkansas this last week and their internet is dreadfully slow.
Thanks to everyone who have supporting my return to blogging by posting comments or emailing me privately. I feel so blessed to have people actually take the time to see what I am up to. We are all living busy, challenging lives and I appreciate the love.
What a week/two weeks. Recap:
This photo pretty much explains the feeling of leaving Texas for a bit… I took lulu with me and I have to say I have never felt closer to her. This week holds a special place in my heart with her.
I… listened to a million songs…. just a little glimpse of what came across my speakers… these are lyrics from some of the many songs that touched me all jumbled into one big mess:)
"i never dreamed home would end up where i don't belong… you know i love you but i just can't take this…have mercy baby, on a poor girl like me…what you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful… cuz cowgirls don't cry, cry baby cry…listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do… and when the day is done my moma's still by biggest fan… all the right friends in all the right places… i wanna know have you ever seen the rain… she's gone country, back to her roots… its gonna happen when its supposed to happen, one step at a time… if the world had a front porch like we did back then, we still have our problems but we'd all be friends… im walking away from the troubles in my life… if you wanna take a ride wit me… i movin on… im cleanin out my closet."
i drove. a lot. prayed. a lot more…for myself, my family and my friends. cried with my moma. slept with my moma for the first time in 15 years. ask questions like "why are things so crazy right now?" "what have i done to contribute to the questions in my life?" "who do i want to be as a mother, friend, sister/daughter?" "what do i need to change?"
Soul-searching doesn't even begin to explain what the last two weeks to a year has been like for me. I have had to take a really good look at myself and my environment, face some harsh realities and move forward. I like to think of it as a bit of forced maturity:) It has come fast and hard…and so far I think I am taking it better than I thought.
Recently, I lost someone dear to my heart. I will miss him and take so much good from our relationship, but I know it's what was always meant to be. I feel my heart has taken a crazy beating this last year, but I am learning that losing control of situations is actually healthy. It forces me to be more accepting of things i can not change. The recent changes in my life are molding who I will be in the future and for that I feel blessed it's happening. Even when it hurts the most. Acceptance is scary yet liberating though.
I have some amazing opportunities coming my way and I have been given the chance to turn things around. I am a true believer in giving and receiving second chances. I don't take that lightly. My friends have surrounded me like an army and for that, I can not express my love for you guys. Thank you for the "matter of fact" opinions and shoulders to lean on.
In the past I have not been one to share personal things so openly. However, it is through sharing with complete strangers that has allowed me to learn from others' experiences this last year, allowed me to meet some strong/amazing women and men. I am blessed for the people who have entered my life lately and I plan on nurturing those relationships, as well as, focusing on some old ones that have been neglected due to my need to deal this year. I am learning that by helping others, I am healing.
I have such a long way to go before I am the person I want to be, but I believe that through sharing, loving and making optimism a way of life again, I will get there. Probably not as soon as I like, but better late than never right?
So… things from here on out should be much brighter:)
On a MUCH lighter note. I met some really cool people this past week. One's I was blessed shared their time and little snippets of life with me. Will and Erin had me in their home for a night and made me feel really welcome. It was my first meeting with them and I am happy to have met such wonderful people. And we are definitely dorks for these photos:)
This was our Olan Mills poses…will's face haha
I also had breakfast with Rachel. I have known her via internet for over a year, but loved getting to see her face to face. What a great girl!
And I am always excited when my friends start blogging and my friend Alaina started a blog documenting her spiritual journey.
Check them all out… you won't be disappointed.
I also had three senior shoots while I was in Arkansas… This girl Calie really opened my eyes to what it means to go through trials. She is a strong young lady who has been through some big things in her life… I was humbled to learn so much in our two hours together, especially since she is 10 years younger than me. I love when photography turns into much more than just photos:)
Lastly… I'll be doing something around here called "Quick Tip Thursday"… basically just little things I find from time to time that help in certain situations.
I'm always getting questions about sharing tips on doing photography without buying expensive equipment… my dad is very creative and taught us to make things from nothing. (For those who have asked about in studio lighting tips, I'll be covering that
9;s question: What do you do when it gets dark and you don't have extra lighting but want to keep shooting?
Answer: Utilize your car headlights.
In the photo below, it got very dark but we wanted to shoot anyway. We placed the car far away enough to light the photo without being too bright, lined up the lighting with my face, and shot without a flash. This ensured we had the lighting where we wanted it. There is no extra lighting used here…
When you are limited… you have to get creative. This could be used for scary photos or even adding more lighting when you have existing light. Have fun!
I plan on being around here a lot more!