Be you and forget the rest.

2415063599_76017e3e85_b
Five years ago when I found out I would become a mom…I had no idea what that would mean for me…for my child…for my sanity.

People were shocked (family and friends) to here that I…KIM JOHNSON-Brimhall…would be having a child. Not because I was wreckless or anything…but because I was a determined, academic oriented person. I was that straight A girl…gifted and talented…Advanced placement programs…Loved everyone at school…tried to stay drama free….because I had a plan to leave Arkansas…and I did. I loved/love school and that was my plan…to finish college and to be a Big Time journalist. I pictured myself living in a loft in downtown of a big city.

But at age 22…I was married and was going to be a mother…and I had already been told that I would have problem pregnancies…and I did…so that meant no school. I was devastated.

Jade was born and a year later Madi Kay came along. And my life was changed in ways I could have never known.

Life was changing so fast…I had no idea how I suddenly became a mother (well I know HOW> i took health) but it was so crazy fast.

Lately I have been getting many emails and comments referring to me as "one cool moma" or the "hip mom" and asking how I am so comfortable in being who I am…if people treat me different because I choose dresses with boots rather than T-shirts and jeans.

Let’s not get it twisted…there are some who feel I am not the "traditional mom" and I am certain are bothered by my approach.

But one thing that I have always believed…is what works for one person…doesn’t necessarily work for another. It’s usually obvious when a person is not being themselves…when they "adopt" someone else’s persona and it catches up with them. This is something I would expect of children…but not mothers. We have to know who we are to be able to lead our children. Which is why I would never expect another mom to act as I do. You have to be you and forget everyone else around you. I mean if that’s what we want to teach our kids…shouldn’t we live it too? People know genuine…I am a people reader and I have become amazed at how people feel they can not be themselves for fear of not being accepted.

I spent about two years living a life being someone other people told me I should be. Being the mother I was told was "expected." Feeling as though I was less of a mother because my child didn’t wear a onesie under each outfit…or didn’t wear socks in our house during the winter…I mean come on now.

What a waste. I believe that you should be confident enough in who you are to step out on that limb and take chances KNOWING that sometimes you are gonna make mistakes…and I have allowed that to be my montra for motherhood too.

We are not all born knowing EXACTLY what to do when we become moms…but we can learn by trial and error and allow it to make us better mothers, therefore making our children better people too.

I do not consider myself a "hip" moma. I consider myself the mom I have always longed to be…just with some bumps along the way. I like taking photos of my children…but I also LOVE taking photos of myself…so that’s that. I like making things that I love…even if other’s don’t. I like talking my children to do activities that are character building rather than forcing them to do something they hate…I believe in spending my money on adding to who they are as people, not their toybox. Now don’t think Im a toy nazi…my kids have toys:)

I got an email last night from a girl saying she lost herself after having a baby…and she is having a hard time getting to an inspired, uplifted place.

I believe we have to create that person…just like "creating" art.
Layer upon layer, we add things we like, get rid of the things that don’t work for us…stay true to our own design…in our personality and our life. We choose.

I know a lot of cool moms out there…and women I know will be awesome moms someday as well. I am constantly inspired by women having a voice…stepping out of the BOX…and stepping into themselves.

If you’ve made it through this novel…I applaud you:)
I will now be stepping off my soap-box…its not becoming of me…but I just had to get that out:)

Happy Saturday!!

Advertisements

37 Comments to “Be you and forget the rest.”

  1. I’m glad to have read all those beautiful words ^_^!
    Ciao ciao,
    Simona

  2. I enjoyed reading this Kimmie! I’m at that point right now…. where the decisions I make in the next two years affects who i will be- a hip mom, or a hip designer. hehe At least I know that no matter WHAT I am, I will still be WHO I am. 😉

  3. Mandi…you can be both…you don’t have to choose between the two:)

  4. wow, that was beautiful! i completely agree. it’s so discouraging when other moms look down on other moms just because they don’t do things a certain way. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  5. Your children look happy and healthy and that just proves that they come from good love, good parents.

  6. you so pretty.
    and so are your yung ‘uns!!!!

  7. well said kim!! I feel the same way I am being the best mom I can be for them and not like another person because I am me 🙂

  8. Your post was so inspiring! I am a new mommy and i have’nt really thought about the things you mentioned n your post, but i want to think about those things. I want to be the mom that raises her kids being true to herself and her children. Otherwise my children may grow up felling they need to be someone they are not. I totally agree with you and i need to make sure that i stay true to myself. That i step up and do what i think is right, not what the books/rest of the word thinks i should do!! By the way that was such a beautiful picture of you and your kids. 🙂

  9. well said! it’s so hard not to compare yourself to other moms — but I love what you said about creating ourselves – layer by layer. i’m the “older” side of mommyhood i guess – I had my first when I was 31 and hope to have another before I’m 36. I hope I can stay young at heart as long as I can.

  10. that was beautiful.. i dont have kids yet but that’s exactly the kind of mom i want to be.. 🙂

  11. i say what-ev-er. those people don’t have enough crap to do/worry about etc. that they worry about whether your kid wears socks in the winter?!? if everyone put as much thought and diligence into the needs of the babies in africa as they do bad-mouthing their neighbors, then malaria wouldn’t exist. neither would homelessness, or hunger. listen to your heart (which you obviously know) but it never hurts to hear–you are doing what is right for you and your kids– your love knows its way. i feel the same way, and i often have to remind myself to kill ’em with kindness, because most likely they’re just afraid that they are falling short. you rock, girl, and thanks for sharing your journey. triple arm pump to honesty!
    xoxo-shahnnen

  12. Kim, it sounds like you are feeling better. I am glad you were able to share this with everyone. Hope you and Madi enjoy spending your 7 hours a day together. The photos on all the other recent posts were super.

  13. I totally agree with your post!
    and you really are a cool hip looking beautiful mama!
    i struggle with some things as well like say, everyone i know buys their kids the perfect easter and christmas dress/outfits/shoes etc. and i just let my kids wear whatever they have in their closet.
    i just don’t follow the “rules”….but it works for me and i have finally learned to accept that! glad you do the same!
    makes for happier kids!
    tara

  14. Amen Sister!
    YouBeYou – great post and sometimes the soapbox must be stepped upon! 😉

  15. True, every single word of it. Congrats to you on being the best mom you can be and encouraging other women to do the same. Happy Saturday to you too.

  16. kimberly,
    thank you not only for sharing your true feelings, but being brave and confident enough to stand up and SAY them!
    so happy to hear you’re feeling better and comfy being YOU.
    blessings,
    erin

  17. i would never get it twisted, yo. i love how you are always a tiny bit ghetto in that fabulous kitschy koo bod. fabulousity, my dear sweet pretty.

  18. oh and i read something fab today. “no one can teach me who i am”. word.

  19. RIGHT ON MAMA!! I feel the same…after my first child was born…I became that ‘MOM’ that everyone thought I should be, boiling and overwashing EVERYTHING that came into contact with my son! Now, on baby 3 & 4 (TWINS), I see myself a different but BETTER mommy…trying to ignore stares I get at the market for bending down and looking into the my childrens eyes and explaining in a stern voice what they need to hear-even when one of my other children was screaming their head off! Everyone IS different and have their own opinions about parenting…WE can only believe that we are doing the best we can as we have learned so much AND ARE STILL LEARNING.
    People ask me all the time, ‘how do you do it…4 kids and all, work, school, church, volunteering, and taking care of a home….as a single mother. It’s what God has blessed me with…and he would not have blessed me with what I have if I could not handle it.
    I learn everyday and I wouldn’t change it for the world…..MOMS ARE SPECIAL!

  20. you are so right.
    :] i adore you! seriously. this is great post.
    one day- when it’s time, i’ll remember this.
    thanks.
    -kimxxoo
    p.s. i do this you’re a pretty cool mum!

  21. totally get you here – thanks for sharing this!

  22. Kim,
    It’s been awhile since I dropped by. What you have written is wonderful. I’ll be spotlighting it on my new blog, Mormon Bloggers Speak Out (http://mormonbloggers.blogspot.com). I also linked your blog to that one as well.
    The purpose of this blog is to share with the world what Mormons are like in our many facets. What we believe, what we do, how we play, our thoughts on family, Church, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, life, standing for truth and righteousness, missionary work, doctrine, our countries, etc.
    Each day, I, or a guest blogger, will post a blog so that there will be something new and wonderful on a regular basis. If you are interested in being a guest blogger, please drop me an email (ces@candacesalima.com) and let me know who you are. I also have a Hot Topics category to the right, something interesting bloggers can write about if they are stumped for the day.
    I’m very excited to launch this and hope that Mormon Bloggers across the globe will be willing to be included, and it is my fondest hope our friends of others faiths will drop by and see what we’re really all about. These are Mormons blogging about being Mormons and just plain ol’ people. Welcome!

  23. Your kids are so beautiful. When you take pictures you really capture their personality and yours. I agree it would be a sad world if we try to be the standard mom it would be so unnatural. I love that I am a mom but I am also Dinah. I hope you can make it to Crista’s wedding it would be good to see you again.

  24. Awesome post, seriously. I have never been the “traditional” mom and I feel the same way. rock on mama!!

  25. KB you are a beautiful mother! Traditional doesn’t fly to well around here either. And that Creator song is trippy! I love it!
    Love you!

  26. i think it is becoming of you 🙂
    xx

  27. I loooove this entire post. every single little bit of it.
    you rock.

  28. Wow, I just read you post and got teary-eyed… I am recently married and have a wonderful step-daughter but, and age 24, it’s been a difficult transition. It’s sometimes hard to find the balance between being a mother and still being an idividual and it’s conforting to know I’m not the only one out there. Thanks for posting!

  29. It actually devastates me how cool you are… you just have the gene. You are lucky. I wish I was cool!

  30. Kim,
    Thanks for the priority check. Its timely.
    You inspire me.

  31. powerful words, kim.
    i wish i could have been so wise about 15 and a half years ago!
    but the past is the past.
    and i DO try to do what is best regardless of the stigma others try to throw on me.
    i am thankful for scrapbooking, blogs, people that i connect with in a way that i never have.
    thanks for your wonderful words, sweets.

  32. Hey Kimmy,
    Your a sweet person. it’s nice to know that someone on the other side of the world can feel and think the same as someone else over here. I was 22 and married and having a baby also, I’m now about to turn 27 and I’m on no. 3! I’m glad someone else out there isn’t afraid to be them selves and do what THEY think is best. Hold on to you family and beliefs! You know what I’m talking about! 😉
    Love Mel xox
    Love Mel

  33. That is such a lovely photo!

  34. I just found your blog trhough SIS and now I am so happy I did! I am trying really hard to get preagnent and sometimes I just ask my self if I am doing the right thing because… I dont know what I am going to do once I become a mom! I am so happy to see that no one seens to know and that I may became a good one just because I have so much love to give!
    Thank you!

  35. I, too was a young mom to the shock of my friends who thought I’d ace college right after high school. I had four kids all at a pretty young age, then returned to school. I’ll bet lots of people envy our happy lives. I’d rather they just GET it. I’ve been married a very long time with four happy well adjusted kids. I have found a good paying job that i like and a hobby that i love. I get teased by people who don’t GET my art, but i don’t make it for them. Love your blog. good stuff, sister.

  36. I just started realizing this about 2 years ago…and life has just been so much EASIER…
    Bravo on the honest awesome post*!*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: