Out of character…

I am sick…really sick
I am tired.
I am sick and tired.
I am scared.
I am lonely.
I am confused.
I am desperately wanting answers.
I am sad.
I am praying a lot.
I am longing.
I am weak.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I am thinking a lot.
I am really sick.

I am sorry I can not write more…I am back from Utah…now I am going to see more doctors…for more tests…and I am wavering in my hopes that they will fix me. I hope that fades. I am trying so hard just to survive right now. I miss this place. I miss being able to create things.

Pray for me, or cross you fingers, or send good vibes.

Love, me

Ps-vivian…thanks for the nomination on your blog…as soon as I am up to it…I will make my nominations:)

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56 Responses to “Out of character…”

  1. So sorry, KIm. I wil be praying for you. 🙂
    *love*

  2. Sending you my love!! Miss you and hope you get better fast!! Love and Hugs, Cassandra
    http://www.scrapinstyletv.com/portfolio/view_layout.php?layout_id=114093&user_id=5409
    I was thinking about you!!

  3. you are not alone, beautiful girl. xoxo.

  4. I so feel for you, i really do. love you!
    corinnexxx

  5. thoughts, prayers, GREAT vibes, more prayers, patience, hope, love, and much more for you….
    feel better soon.

  6. oh honey,
    i’m so sorry you feel this way…
    i know how hard it is to be sick & not know what’s going on.
    it sucks, but we are praying for you.
    much love, sweet girl!
    -xo-
    lisa

  7. kimmie baby….I have missed you and I am thinking of you everyday.
    I pray the doctors can help you…..and that you start to feel brighter…..will miss u at cha :(((
    xxxxx

  8. Hugs to you!
    Praying for the Doctors to be wise and you to be well

  9. wow, you poor dear. i know how it feels to be sick and it is a lonely and depressing place to be stuck in your own and and when you are there you are your worst enemy as all kinds of thoughts flood your head. please know that it will be ok no matter what. i will think of ya and although i am not one for praying lately i will say a pray for you.
    you know what you need some good music. listen to She and Him. It’s mellow and really good.
    Hope you hear something soon as i am dying to get my hair to look like yours and i have been patiently waiting ( taping my foot) for your how to video…lol
    Susan

  10. awww. kim i hope you get better SOOON!!!
    xo

  11. Hope you are back to yourself very soon Kim! (((HUGS))))

  12. oh gosh kim! I hope you are on the mend soon! You are in my thoughts! Please call if there is anything I can do to help!

  13. wow, i am so sorry to hear that you have been sick. i know how it can break you down, when you don’t know what is going on. i hope you get some answers soon. i will be thinking of you.
    big hugs.
    and lots of love.
    mk

  14. oh I am definitely thinking about you girl!

  15. Love your blog and always check in to see what’s new! Praying your feel better soon and have lots of energy before you know it!

  16. I’ll be praying that you get some answers to your condition (good answers too!)- thinking of you and that you will begin to feel better soon!
    hugsxxx
    jessica

  17. Prayers from France, simply because, last winter, I had the same feelings…doctors found “the” answer..I hope you’ll have “your” answer…in order to know!
    I miss your creativity and your stuff!
    xoxo
    Titelaine

  18. Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers!!
    xoxo

  19. Everything will work out. I hope you are feeling better soon. I will be gone but I will try to touch basis.

  20. You are in my thought!!! Feel better sooooonnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. sending Hugs and many prayers Kim.
    🙂

  22. Crossing all my fingers and toes for you to get betters and the pug is sending kisses. *hugs*

  23. Hi girl.
    I love your blog, and check it almost everyday. So sorry to hear you are sick. I`ll cross my fingers for you, and hope you will feel better soon. Lots of love, Tine

  24. sweet kimmie… i’ve been thinking about you alot. hoping you’re feeling better and have found some answers. sending all my love and positive vibes your way.
    xoxo

  25. Oh girl.
    Sending lots of good energy your way…
    Bless, Cindy

  26. take it easy girl; i am thinking of you and ask for assistance in your healing…

  27. Praying for you Kim…

  28. i miss you.
    and i will send you a goodie box soon.
    it hurts my heart that you are sick.
    i will also call you today or tomorrow.
    i miss you and wish i lived next door so I could bring you some homemade chicken noodle soup and some spudnuts and some ice cold coca-cola.
    until i call,
    aw

  29. Hey Kim! I’m praying for you, crossing my fingers, sending good vibes and more! If there’s anything I can do remember I’m only 1 state away! Don’t give up hope! They’ll figure it out and everything will be alright! Hang in there sweetie!

  30. i am thinking of you everyday
    praying for answers for you
    and comfort
    hope to see you in chicago 🙂
    leslie

  31. Sending you hugs……I hope they find an answer for you soon.

  32. sending you hugs
    and lots of good vibes…

  33. the shit in life that makes us stronger… you are a beautiful person and sometimes the only way to get through all of it is to try to see the bright 🙂
    just my random two cents 🙂
    feel better girl.

  34. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this!! 😦 I went through a pretty scary time a couple of months back, health wise, and I know how terrible that is! I hope that you get some answers quickly.

  35. Praying for you my friend .. I tried calling you. Let me know what’s up okay .. love ya
    Sasha

  36. i’m praying for you, crossing my fingers-toes-arms-legs-and even my eyes for you, and sending you the best vibes possible.
    i hate to hear that you are feeling so bad.
    big hugs 🙂

  37. I never pray, but I’ll do the “I wish Kimmie will feel much better soon”-thought over and over and I will send it to the cosmos.
    Hope you’ll be happy again soon.
    Love,
    Marcia

  38. Kimmy….
    U are in my thoughts and prayers… HUGS girl! :):):)
    Julie :):):):):)

  39. Hello~
    I don’t know your situation or your symptoms. I have been ill since I had my daughter 4 years ago. I went from Dr. to Dr. Last month I got diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (sp). It is hypothyroidism and most days I can’t get off the couch from pain and tiredness. If you are having symptoms such as these e-mail me.
    I am praying for you hard as I am typing this. I pray that your road is short to your diagnosis.
    Hang in there and always keep your babies and family in the front of your mind to anchor you through the really tough times.

  40. The above should say “I went from dr. to dr. for 2 years and last month I finally got a diagnosis.”

  41. Sorry to hear you’re still not feeling better Kim! I hope you figure you what’s going on and get back to yourself!!

  42. aww, i’m so sorry you’re ill! hoping for the best!

  43. OMG Kim i just saw your flickr video and read that you werent feeling well. I have been out of the loop due to my surgery so Im sorry if this is late. Im worried about you and will be praying for you. I hope it is nothing bad and they take care of you right away! Big hug to you and your family!
    xoxoxo

  44. praying for you sweet, kimmie!
    hope you feel better soon!
    xoxox

  45. Missing your daily inspiration, Kim … prayers for health and peace to you!

  46. Keep your head up! Even though, I don’t “know” you that well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    You have inspired so much with your work. I hope and wish that everything will turn out ok for you!
    B

  47. oh Kim, your post makes me so very sad, i am praying and thinking of you my darling
    huge hugs
    anna xx

  48. A story for you. I will give you the short version.
    At 18 years old, I began college. Was excelling. Became very sick. Diagnosed with mono and advised to drop my classes and recuperate. I did.
    However. Woke one morning feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. See doctor with my dad. Arrive home to a ringing telephone. Doc calling, sending us to the hospital. Now.
    Tests. More tests. Needles in bones. Blood drawn. Drawn. Drawn. Results sent hours away for second opinions. Third. Fourth.
    Diagnosis: Leukemia. I didn’t even know what that was.
    Off to M.D. Anderson in Houston. Tests. More tests. Marrow taken from my bones. Medications that made me hallucinate. I couldn’t swallow my own spit, the pain was so bad.
    Three days later, I walked out of that hospital, healthy. A nurse said to me as I left:
    “We don’t get to see many people walk out of here. You are one lucky girl.”
    Keep hope alive. Miracles happen. If one like that can happen to me…unassuming, undeserving…it will happen for you.

  49. I don’t know you at all but I follow you on flickr and saw your last photo/video post. I said a prayer for you and hope you get some answers. Not knowing is so hard.
    {{HUGS}}

  50. Kim – I’ve been following your gorgeous images in flickr through Shutter Sisters for quite a while, but this is my first visit to your blog. Such beauty you’ve created. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. I’ll say a prayer for you.

  51. i am sooo sorry kimmy! I hope you get better soon, youll be in my prayers.

  52. been there, done that.
    your words could have been mine. a long time ago, but it still feels like yesterday when i read your words…
    don`t give up, hang in there. it will get better, believe me. you need to do one thing, embrace the people who loves you and can be there 24/7 for you. don`t be afraid to use the people around you for help. if you loose some of them when you need them now, it is a meaning about it… cause you are not alone. this feeling you have, so many of us have gotten better, and never gone back. maybe you feel this way, like there is no hope, but there is. and again, you are not alone. get some help. anything, but a professional of a kind, cause it is hard for people in your life to help you get better in a long term. do not give up. it doesn`t seem like it now, but life and living will change. even though for all that i know you are happy about your life and living, it doesn`t feel that way. and if it doesn`t feel that way, well… that`s the hardest thing. i hope my words are comforting, and if not, just leave it behind. i wish you the best. get well. i did.
    been there, done that.
    love, spinvill

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