July 30, 2008
I have had a lot of time to think over this last month…and I have come to really see what's most important in life….my kids. I think this sickness has created a time for me to make some changes…within myself and within my family…I feel soooo guilty that with everything going on with me I haven't been able to really be "present" with the kids birthdays…Madi turned 4 today and Jade turned 5 last week.
I'll also take this opportunity to answer a question I have gotten a few times in the past…
"Do you think you would get more done if you didn't have kids?"
"Do you think you would be more creative without kids?"
My answer is No. period. When I had kids, I experienced a level of creativeness that comes when you are able to see things through the eyes of a child…when you are able to love more deeply than you could imagine otherwise…when you are able to see God's creation wake up every morning and tell you stories about Unicorns and Dinosaurs with rainbows and jungles and crocodiles.
When life is all about cartoons and popsicles and learning to read. Of course they are time consuming…but the reward is so worth it…truly.
Ps. i went to the cardiologist today and I have 5 tests this week and next…so i will be absent once again:)
Pss. My webisode is up at SIS…Amy Tan is teaching me…and I am actually quiet for once:)
July 28, 2008
Im still hanging in there…only two days until I see the cardiologist…lets hope he can figure it out:)
but for those of you who are still making things (i envy you)…
A new prompt is up at The Art is Found…
I made this page before my sickness and it makes me happy to be able to share it…
I loved this print of John Lennon, who I believe is one of the best writers EVER.
And the prompt was to use a photo for the title…so the Beautiful is a photo from Chicago.
Im glad I did this page…it really helped me today.
Every day I gain a little more hope:)
Thanks to everyone who is part of that "little more"
Love you. Love me.
July 26, 2008
Thank you for THIS and THIS and THIS
and THIS !
July 23, 2008
I am going to see a cardiologists to have my heart tested soon…but until I get better, I have decided to document my feelings on my illness…sorry but I am not a "just show the good" kinda girl…this is my therapy:) So for a while…my posts will be out of character or at least "out of my online character".
July 15, 2008
I am sick…really sick
I am tired.
I am sick and tired.
I am scared.
I am lonely.
I am confused.
I am desperately wanting answers.
I am sad.
I am praying a lot.
I am longing.
I am weak.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I am thinking a lot.
I am really sick.
I am sorry I can not write more…I am back from Utah…now I am going to see more doctors…for more tests…and I am wavering in my hopes that they will fix me. I hope that fades. I am trying so hard just to survive right now. I miss this place. I miss being able to create things.
Pray for me, or cross you fingers, or send good vibes.
Ps-vivian…thanks for the nomination on your blog…as soon as I am up to it…I will make my nominations:)